Guinness on wheels: part deux

Port Huron gets painted green, with vomit

Kristopher Reynolds
Staff Writer

In Ireland, St. Patrick’s Day is a celebration of the day that St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of the Emerald Isle. In Port Huron, St. Patrick’s Day is celebrated in a much different fashion, involving a parade, buses full of drunkards, and enough Guinness to drown even the reddest of Irishmen.
March 15 marked the day of the St. Patrick’s Day parade, followed by a legion of party buses hauling around a cargo of inebriants and their consumers.
The parade, led by the Strathroy Legion Pipe Band, began at noon and started in Pine Grove Park gallivanting throughout downtown Port Huron, and ended in front of Port Huron’s fire trucks.
The sponsors of the parade were the Irish-American Club and the March of Dimes; both sponsors are of St. Clair County.
After the parade, Pub Crawl buses picked up their aforementioned booze-craving Irishmen and faux-Irishmen (after all, everyone’s Irish on St. Patty’s).
The buses cycled through the various participating establishments from 1 p.m. to 7 p.m. Roughly 20 restaurants and bars marked themselves as official pub crawl stops, including Lynch’s Irish Tavern, Fuel Woodfire Grill, Palms Krystal Bar, and Seekers.
Bars were packed shoulder to shoulder, and the sidewalks weren’t much better.
Feelings on the overall atmosphere of the revelry were met with mixed reviews.
An officer of the Port Huron Police Department who asked to remain anonymous stated, “This is a terrible day to be a cop. I mean Jesus Christ, you see what a shitstorm this day is. Every officer on duty today, which is damn near all of them, is literally running around like chickens with their heads cut off. We don’t have the manpower to handle this amount of chaos, even with officers on every corner.”
Mike Vogt, 21, of Richmond on the other hand said, “I love pub crawl, I’m [expletive omitted] wasted bro! I’m going to Ireland, you just wait, (dialogue here was cut off due to the fact that Vogt was immediately removed from Tailgator’s by security for throwing a beer into the air).”
William McConnachie, 25, of St. Clair said, “I don’t really care about the holiday. I’m Scottish. But it’s a good excuse to get hammered.”
As they say in old Irish, Sláinte.

Staff writer Nicole Hatcher contributed to this story.

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